For one reason or another, some homosexual or bisexual women choose to keep their lesbian lifestyles private. This may be because they have concerns over how it will affect their professional lives, or possibly because they have not come out to their families or sometimes just because they don’t want to make a “scene” over their sexual lifestyle.
 
Whatever the reason you might be deciding to keep your lesbian lifestyle private, online dating allows you to do so more easily. You can choose a username that is not your real name or is a nickname or some version of your real name and get to know people better before making the decision to meet in person or tell them who you really are. If you do meet someone special, you can make the decision to meet more discreetly if that’s what you choose and no one else has to know about it.

Lesbian Dating Sites

Today lesbian dating sites give you more opportunity for meeting other singles that share your same interests without worrying about whether or not she’s into women or whether your approach will come off the wrong way or offend someone. It’s tough being a lesbian in the everyday world. Unless you go to special bars or clubs, it can be much more difficult to find out if a woman is “that way” and if she’s into you or if she’s just a friend or just trying to be nice.
 
You definitely don’t want to walk around asking every attractive female “are you a lesbian?” so what other options do you have? A good lesbian friend once told me “the dating pool is much smaller for us” and I know exactly what she meant. This could be one reason why lesbians in a small community end up with one another. They feel they don’t have so many choices.

Finding a True Match

When you add to the mix all of those women who just want to mess around or experiment but are not looking for a true relationship with another woman, it’s easy to see how frustrating it can be. But dating online takes much of this out of the equation for you. It’s assumed that everyone here is lesbian and while there may be a few fake profiles or those who are just curious, it’s still a bigger database than you likely have in your hometown.
 
Another issue is that while it’s unfortunate, homosexuals are not yet seen as equals in many communities. There might be lots of lesbians in your home town but you don’t even know about them because they are afraid of going public with their sexuality. It has caused people to lose jobs, miss out on promotions and other opportunities and even become the victims of harassment and abuse. While tolerance is growing in our society, it’s still easy to understand why some women choose to keep such matters private- or at least private until they meet the one who is worth going public over.

How Lesbian Dating Sites Help

If you’re trying to keep your lifestyle private, lesbian dating sites can help. First, you can sign up and set up just like any other dating site. Use this opportunity to post some about yourself and what you are looking for in a partner or a date. Then you can also use this opportunity to look for other eligible singles. You may look for women in your area but if the pool seems small, you should consider looking outside your area.
 
If you had to relocate once you found the woman of your dreams, would that really be so bad? The only people who have to know you are on a lesbian dating site are other singles that you meet on the site and anyone you choose to reveal this information to. To everyone else, you can keep it private.
 
Once you have met someone on your lesbian dating site who you want to go out with, you may consider dating outside of your city or outside of town from where you live and work. This will mean lower risk that someone you know will see you or report back that you are out on a date with a woman. The added benefit to this is visiting locations, restaurants, etc., that maybe you would have never visited before.
 
There are many different professions that have to worry about this and practice such discretion but one that is hit hard is the teaching profession. Many parents still seem to have a big issue with homosexual teachers working with their students, although there is no evidence that this is any different than a heterosexual teacher, some people are still biased and this can cost you your job. But meeting a fellow lesbian on a dating site and choosing to attend the date outside of town may help you protect your privacy and your job.
 
For many lesbians who live in fear of their lifestyle, once they meet that very special person, the fear dissipates. They know that this is the one and it’s time to come open with it, even if some people don’t like it. But how will you ever meet that person if you don’t get out there and start dating? Lesbian dating sites can help you take the fear and uncertainty out of this.

If you are a woman dating a woman, there are some things you need to know about your first date. This is much like anyone going on a first date. However, you may feel like you have become an expert on “first dates.” Do you feel like you are always having first dates but less often having follow-up dates? Do you want to see a woman more than just once or twice in order to find out if she is right for you? Don’t beat yourself up thinking there is something wrong with you.
 
First, women are quite picky. They tend to know exactly what they want and they can spot it really quickly if they don’t think they’ve found it. We can be very critical and sometimes your nerves might be keeping you from making a good first impression. Or maybe the person you are dating is just nervous and judges you too harshly because she is also very nervous.
 
There are a lot of reasons why a first date can go badly but sometimes you set yourself up for failure by the way you enter the date. Here are some tips for first dates with women dating women.

First Date Tips and Guidelines

Before you go on your first date, here are some things to consider:

• Pre-date jitters: Are you relaxed? Pre-date jitters are to be expected but if you are overly nervous on your first date, you could give your date the wrong impression. Avoid drinking to try to calm the jitters. Instead, try relaxation exercises or deep breathing. You want to make sure you are alert and that your mood is not altered by substances.
• Feel the part: Are you wearing something that makes you feel good? You should dress the part by dressing confidently and appropriately for the situation. You want to feel comfortable and you don’t want to worry about your outfit while you are trying to get to know your date partner.
• Be real: Are you being yourself? One of the most important things you can do is be real with your date. Don’t’ try to pretend to be something that you’re not or who you think she wants you to be. Don’t be cocky or arrogant but be real and be yourself. She will appreciate your honesty.
• Know what to say: It can be tough to know what to say on a first date, especially if you’re feeling a bit nervous but when you plan what you’re going to say first, you can help keep the conversation flowing. Remember that you don’t want to get too serious your first date. Keep it light and friendly. You always want to be sure you give her a fair chance to chat as much as you are chatting back. Ask her questions and don’t monopolize the conversation.
• Know where to go: Your choice of venue could be very important for the date. You want it to be a place that you are both comfortable with, where you can have a good time but also where you can spend some time chatting and getting to know one another. If you go to one of your preferred hangouts, your friends and buddies might interrupt the date too much. A movie is always a nice choice but it doesn’t give you a chance to chat so you should add a dinner date before or after the movie so you can get to know one another a little better.
• Body language: Did you know that your body language says a lot about you? You may be sending the wrong impression to your date and not even know it. How do you sit? Are you slumped over? Are you leaning in to see what she has to say? Are you giving her your full attention? Your body language will give her the idea of how you are feeling on the date.
• Pay attention: Make sure you focus on your date, pay attention to what she is saying, her body language and her likes and dislikes. Don’t get so wrapped up in yourself and your jitters that you fail to read her signals or see the messages she is sending you. It’s likely she is nervous too and you just need to tune in, focus and make her feel appreciated. This is a sure fire way to get a second date.

First dates are all about getting to know the person and deciding if you want to go on a second date. If you’re not setting the right tone for your date then this might be why you are only getting first dates and never getting that second date that you desperately want.