Many people feel that lesbian dating is easy because they think — Hey, they’re both women, so they should get along in a relationship, after there is a friendship! This is no more true than when two heterosexual people of the opposite sex meet and are friends, with no love or sexual interest with each other. Just because two people like each other as friends, no matter their sexual orientation, does not mean that they will eventually become lovers. If this were the case, everyone who enjoyed a friendship would eventually date — and this is simply not possible, let alone advisable. So how does being compatible make a difference in lesbian dating?

Sharing Common Interests

One way that you can know if you are compatible when you meet at a lesbian dating site is when you share common interests. This gives you a starting point for conversations; and when you decide to meet in real life, you can do these activities on your dates. There are a wide variety of interests you could have, such as watching sports, going shopping or talking over a good book at a coffee shop. In some cases there may not be any common interests but instead simply an attraction between you two. In that case you may want to find interests that you can share, because physical attraction is not the only issue in a good relationship.

Physical Attraction Does Play a Part

While sharing common interests is important for a solid relationship and can help you to be compatible with your lover, physical attraction is important too. If you see a profile on an online lesbian dating site and you are not at all attracted to the person, then it doesn’t matter what the common interests are. This is not to say that you could not grow to like or even love that person, but it is human nature to go with the first impression. What you need to do is find a balance between the physical attraction and the shared interests in order to have a totally compatible relationship.

Turning Friendship into Love

You may have started chatting with someone you did not think that you would be compatible with at your lesbian online dating site. She contacted you, and over the course of time you have become friends. It seems as though you start thinking about her more often and suddenly you realize that you have feelings for her. Can friendship indeed turn into love? Of course it can — and these are some of the strongest relationships you will have. When you go from being friends into lovers, then you know you have a relationship that will stay strong and that can stand the test of time.

How to Successfully Browse Profiles

OK, so now you know some hints about compatibility and how being compatible with your love interest can make your relationship strong. So how does that translate into finding love at an online dating site? When you are looking through profiles, you should look for those that both attract you physically AND where you share the same interests. Do not discount someone who contacts you if attraction is weak because even if you do not build a relationship she may end up being a good friend. Friendship is foundation; and it lasts long. It is part of most long-term relationships.

Conclusion

There is not much difference between lesbian dating and other dating scenarios. When you sign up for a lesbian online dating site, you need to go in with an open mind. Look for those ladies who not only attract you physically but who stimulate you mentally too. A strong friendship can be the basis of lifetime love for you and your girlfriend.

Going out on your first lesbian date is an exciting and memorable event in your life. Even if you have gone out on dates before, this is your first date with someone new in your life. There is always a certain amount of expectations and nervousness that pass through one’s head before going out but this shouldn’t affect how the date goes. When nerves become an issue, it is because the spot you went to didn’t allow you to be comfortable. So if you are very nervous or feel like you are only going out on first dates, it is time to choose the right places you should go on your first lesbian date.

Comfort is Key

You always want to be yourself as much as you can on your first date. If you are uncomfortable in the spots that you are choosing because you think that your date will enjoy them, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Since you are choosing the spot make it a place where you love to go. This excitement and enjoyment that you bring to the date by choosing something in your comfort zone allows you to be you. Your date will have a great time and therefore, you will start going out on more second, third, fourth, etc dates.

Is It Wrong to Choose a Place That I Like?

Some women may think that it is selfish not to have a date spot in mind for the person that they are going out with. There is a reason why you are going out on your first date; to get to know each other. If you don’t know your date then you might not actually know what they like. It is much better to choose a place that is special and comfortable for you, then to think of a date spot that your date might like but you might hate. Plus, once you can get through the first date and get to know each other better, then you can create a great second date that you know that both of you will definitely enjoy and she will know that you had her especially in mind!

How Out Are You Girls?

Another element to keep in mind when you are going out with someone for the first time is to know and accept how “out” you and she are. If you are not totally out, you might want to do something low-key. If the lady you are going out with isn’t completely out of the closet then you might not want to go to a place that puts her out in the spotlight. You might think of places that are further away than a local hangout. This will allow both of you to relax a little more on your date without the worry of someone you or she knows bumping into you.

Where Should I Take My Date?

Now it comes down to where you should actually take your date. Once you have all of the fine details worked out, you should have a pretty good idea of where to go and where not to go depending on your comfort and level of “outness.” Some of the best dates start out at a local bar or coffee shop. This doesn’t mean to take your date out to Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts but choose an intimate spot where your order is something quick and simple, not a very big commitment of time. The problem with going out to dinner is that you might not be as interested in this person as you may think. Sitting through an hour-long dinner can be torturous.
 
By choosing to go to a bar or a coffee shop, you can have your drink and within the first few minutes you will know whether or not you actually want to be with this person. In the case that you girls are hitting it off, you can have a back- up restaurant in mind and continue your date. If you are not really feeling this person, then you can gracefully and quickly make your exit.

What About Going to the Movies?

Going to catch a flick can be hit or miss. Think about it. Why are you going out on your first date? You want to get to know this woman. So do you really think sitting next to your date for the next two or three hours is helping you to get to know her? Maybe. You might get a little chit chat in when you meet up, wait on line for tickets and waiting for previews. If you can learn a lot about someone via observation, going to the movies could be an option. You can see what type of humor she has, a couple of views on politics and life and the type of junk food she likes to snack on. Other than that, you really aren’t getting to know anything else about her. The movies are dark and can be romantic with hand-holding without too many onlookers so it could be private enough for both of you, especially if one or both of you are hesitant about showing affection in public.

An Element of Fun on Your First Date

You want to have fun when you go on your first date. Leave the heavy stuff for another day. Most girls just want to have fun like the Cyndi Lauper song. If you aren’t showing your date a good time, there really isn’t a hope that subsequent dates will be any more fun than the first. So where can you have fun, be comfortable and be able to get to know your date? Here are just a few ideas but definitely feel free to add to this list:
 
— Bowling: It’s nice and physical (see “Stay Active,” below), and everyone basically knows how.
— Concert: Provides something to talk about afterwards.
— Batting Cages: More physical, and if your date has never been there, it’s pretty easy to teach her how, and it’s easier than an actual game.
— An Arcade: There are so many great arcade games now, it’s for nearly everyone.
— Mini Golf: A nice leisurely, structured, outdoor activity.
— Museum: You can do lots of talking while you walk and look.
 
If you have a special talent, you can always teach or share your passion. During the summer, going out to the tennis courts could be a lot of fun, to teach your date how to play and hit the ball back and forth a few times. You will be active and this can help you out.

Stay Active on Your Date

Being active on a date does a lot of positive things for you. If you are nervous, you can sweat out all of the nerves. You also bring your focus onto what you are doing, which allows you to relax and be yourself. You are not necessarily concentrating on impressing your date, which you might be doing if you are on a passive date like at the movies. You also get your endorphins flowing. Your endorphins are like your happy juice. Your date is more likely to have a better time afterwards with her endorphins on high, making her smile, than on low.
 
Take a little time out of your day to figure out a great, fun date where you know that you will be comfortable and show your date an excellent time. Everyone’s different; and it is up to you to use your best judgment when it comes to finding the perfect place to have your first lesbian date.